The story reminds me of a favorite quote of mine.
If there was any quote that speaks to me as a creative person, it is this quote from Ira Glass. Before reading this quote I had come to a realization, and I knew for certain that working in media was what I really wanted to do with my life. It hit me quickly, like I had leaned too far back in my chair and felt that rush of adrenaline as my brain screamed at me that I was going to die, but instead of oncoming doom I felt happier, and more certain, than I had ever been in my life. It was a great feeling, and I walked around in a haze of excitement for days. Then came a second realization. This one wasn't like the first. The first hit me hard and fast, but this one creeped up on me slowly and gradually. It felt like I had been driving to something really important, and I was halfway there. As I was thinking about where I was going I thought about what I had to bring there, and as slowly as possible it dawned on me that I had left something really important at home. It was too late to go back, and I wouldn't be able to get where I was driving without it. Well where I was driving was my life's dream, and what I had forgotten was the skills needed to achieve it. Oops.
For years I was really uncertain about what i wanted to do with my life. I knew I didn't want to end up like most people in the working world. I knew I couldn't do the schedule where you wake up, go to your job, pretend like you truly care about what your work in that cubicle is doing for people, go home, tell yourself you're completely satisfied with your life and that the size of your house shows just how happy you are, go to sleep knowing that trading in your dreams for financial security was worth it in the end, and then repeat for 50 years. I can't even hold a torch to those acting skills. Realization number one put away the fear of living that sort of life, when I realized that I wanted to be a story teller. Realization two brought back that fear ten-fold.
The second realization was that I was old, 18 and growing older, and that there have been kids working towards this goal since they wrote their first masterpiece in crayon. Looking at comics and other such free things on the internet made me see what was out there already. Thirteen-year-olds were putting skillful paintings on the web, fourteen-year-olds were making entire remix CD's out of whatever album struck their interest at the time, and fifteen-year-olds were publishing entire comic books of their own design online. Everything that I wrote made me want to burn the notebook after reading it again. When I was ten I discovered the joys of Halo (Xbox), when these kids were ten they were already getting lessons like they were going to be the next C.S. Lewis or Walt Disney. I was a good 15 years behind everyone else, and for the life of me I couldn't see how anything could make up for what I now saw as a wasted life.
Despondent, I turned to the only thing that could cure my sadness, randomly stumbling around the internet like a drunk in high heels. After clicking Stumble, a tool that takes you to websites based on your interests, for what seemed like a few thousand times, I came to this quote. I read it over and over again. I digested it for a while, and I came to a third realization. I hadn't wasted my years; I had been studying my whole life on what made a good story. I knew what separated LOTR from Alvin and the Chipmunks, what made the cartoon of Avatar: the Last Airbender so enjoyable while the movie was crap, and most importantly I saw what made Narnia inspiring while Twilight makes me want to light things on fire. This quote spoke to me, and it said that as long as I work my ass off I can do whatever I want.
A lot of paths guarantee a form of success if you're willing to work. Mine doesn't even offer that. But I know as long as I stay on the road, what's at the end is worth it.
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